Prologue

The prologue describes an event that occurred in the spring of 2000. The author had a major confrontation with Ole Anthony, the leader of the Trinity Foundation, over his manipulation of scriptures to convince her boyfriend of seven years that his desire to marry her was evidence that he was outside the will of God.

Chapter 1        I Never Meant to Join a Cult

The author relates how she had surrendered control over her life to cult leadership, even relinquishing one of her most basic freedoms—the right to choose a marriage partner. She explains how even “normal” people can be susceptible to the lure of cult leaders who invariably are master manipulators.

Chapter 2        Doug’s Story

The author focuses on how her husband, Doug, became a member of the Trinity Foundation when he was a freshman in college. She discusses how individuals at this life stage are especially vulnerable to the lure of cults and explains some of the reasons.

Chapter 3        The Community

The author explores the practices of communal dining, semi-communal living, observation of the Jewish feasts, frequent Bible studies, home schooling of the children, the sharing of lives, and other customs, which lead to the development and growth of the community. She also highlights how these aspects were appealing to those who craved a place where they could belong and be themselves; a place where they felt accepted and loved, where they no longer had to strive to be someone.

Chapter 4        Cult of Personality

In this chapter the author describes the background of the leader of Trinity Foundation. Ole Anthony and explores his personality as a charismatic cult leader. Cults depend on strong charismatic leaders and without this type of leadership, cults can not develop. The self-appointed leader of the Trinity Foundation, Ole Anthony, portrayed himself as a sophisticated, self-assured man who had traveled throughout the world, been involved in politics, worked as a spy for the Defense Intelligence Agency, and who had once been a millionaire businessman. Moreover, he claimed to have special knowledge of the mysteries of God that he had uncovered in his studies of the Bible and ancient Jewish writings.

Chapter 5        We Can Walk On Fire

The author relives an account of Ole Anthony’s attempt to demonstrate to his followers that their minds could not be trusted when he orchestrated an event where everyone was supposed to walk on fire.

Chapter 6        Breaking Spirits

The author describes the emotional and spiritual abuse that members suffered during what Trinity Foundation referred to as “hot seats.” Marathon sessions were held where one-by-one the members would sit in a designated seat and make public confessions of past sins or shameful

events of their lives. After which, there was a barrage of condemnation and attack on the individual’s core self. Often these sessions would last for hours, with the goal being to break the person who had made the confession until the individual cried and pleaded for mercy and forgiveness.

Chapter 7        Believers in the Hands of an Angry Cult Leader

This chapter explores the essence of Ole Anthony’s teaching. The basis for much of his doctrine is revealed in the famous sermon, Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God, preached by Jonathan Edwards in 1741 and illustrated by this excerpt: “There is nothing that keeps wicked men at any one moment out of hell, but the mere pleasure of God. The God that holds you over the pit of hell, much in the same way as one holds a spider, or some loathsome insect, over the fire, abhors you, and is dreadfully provoked; His wrath towards you burns like fire. He looks upon you as worthy of nothing else but to be cast into the fire; He is of purer eyes than to bear to have you in His sight; you are ten thousand times more abominable in His eyes than the most hateful venomous serpent is in ours.”

Chapter 8        Twisted Doctrines

The chapter explores the characteristics that define this Bible-based group as a cult, as well as its unique practices. The author presents an overview of the central doctrines of the Trinity Foundation and the powerful impact that the teachings had in producing dependency in the members on the cult leader.

Chapter 9        I Can’t Hear God Anymore

This chapter returns to the incident described in the prologue when the author had a major confrontation with the leader of Trinity Foundation over his use of scripture as justification for his opposition to her marriage to Doug. On numerous occasions during the seven years the author and her boyfriend had dated, the leader had expressed his disapproval of their desire to marry, but, for some reason, on that spring day of 2000, the author “snapped.” She realized that she was in a controlling, authoritarian, religious group and in that single moment, began to find her way back to God.

Chapter 10      A Wedding Without a Blessing

The author describes the reaction of the cult community following the announcement that the couple planned to marry without the approval of the group. During the week leading up to their marriage, the author describes how her Bible study group confronted her with words of anger, cursing and foul language—not to mention, admonitions that she was making a grave mistake to marry Doug. Then she recounts another emotional confrontation that week when her Bible study teacher told her, “God will kick your butt if you marry Doug.” That cruel pronouncement plagued the author and produced a massive fear that God would punish her or Doug for rebelling against the group.

Chapter 11      The Blow-up

The events leading up to the final break from Trinity Foundation are detailed in the chapter as the author describes how she and her husband almost split-up within the first six months of their marriage. The inability to work through a major disagreement led them to seek professional counseling from the same therapist that Doug had talked with before the marriage—the same therapist who had challenged him to begin questioning the Trinity Foundation’s control over his life. Although the author and her husband went to see the therapist specifically to work through their marital problem, all roads kept leading back to Trinity Foundation as the ultimate source of their conflict.

Chapter 12      Shattered Believers

The author discusses the consequent psychological effects of leaving a spiritually abusive group, which often persist long after former members physically sever their ties with the group. Because a fear is instilled in members that they will not be able to “make it” outside of the group, it is often a very traumatic experience when a group member leaves. Not only is there a fear that one’s marriage will not survive, or one’s children will be hurt, or one will lose your job, or other such fears, but because of the teaching that one cannot trust his/her mind or judgment, a period of confusion follows.

Chapter 13      Hope for the Hopeless

The chapter explains that at some point in former cult members’ journey back to spiritual health, the questions that haunt them in the beginning must evolve. The initial questions, which focus on understanding one’s vulnerabilities that led to involvement in a religiously abusive cult, must be resolved before self-forgiveness can occur. Also, questions about the cult leader, in terms of whether or not he was evil, must be laid to rest. It is only when the questions change and the individual begins to confront the pain and confusion that resulted from the cult experience and discovers how it can be used for personal growth, that the ex-cult member can truly move toward spiritual health.